I think I died a long time ago.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
