I wish my penis had an off switch
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
