you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
MIDGETS
????
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
