Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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