Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I will pee on everything he values.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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