Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
