I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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