I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
