At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
