its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
