so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
