you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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