the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
