I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
