I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
