I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
