I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Actions speak louder than pants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
