I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
honey bunches of taint.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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