The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
