There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
