if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
