is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize