he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
