Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
