i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
