she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
