I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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