my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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