He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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