if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
