Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I looked at my own cervix.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
