I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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