..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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