whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
