They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
