i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
