your room smells of hookers.
And success
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
