the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
