first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
