But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
