actually, I'm a sock model
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
