i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
