summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
