Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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