Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
