walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it glows. i had to have it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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