i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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