we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
