honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
