What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
