I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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