Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
