we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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