Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
