Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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