I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
