Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
