We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
